I am still in shock. I found out recently my husband of over 10 years has been going to japanese Brothels offbase and to Soaplands on a regular basis. And by regular I mean at least once a month if not more often than that. I know I want to get a divorce. The fact that he is constantly putting me into danger of contracting an STD and HIV is horrifying to me. So much that I just cant believe it but I do have some proof. I cant keep my eyes closed to this any longer. Even as I am writing this he is on TDY in Okinawa and I wont bore you with details but I have proof he is visiting these places there right now. Now my circumstances I feel are not very good. First of all he is a very mean person and if I just confront him he has threatened me before and I believe he will.. either throw me out of my own house or book a flight home for me and kick me out basically. I dont want to be the one who doesnt get out of this marriage in a 'good' way. After being married for almost 15 years, no children. And being constantly put into danger of getting a life threatening disease I feel I deserve to get as much as I am owed out of this marriage. I dont have anyone to talk to it is a very delicate matter . I live on Yokota AFB. could anyone maybe tell me who I could talk to and maybe how the Divorce proceedings work. I am not american and I was going to leave and let him deal with the divorce. Or would it be smarter if I file for it myself here onbase ? Would I have to pay for it if I am the one who files for it ? And another question. Since he has hurt me so badly I want to know if I can revenge myself in any way say I know the place offbase he goes to. Can I get it to close down or tell them he has an STD which he has given to me. Or get him into trouble over this. I just feel like he has done me so wrong and I know in the end he will smile at me and not even feel bad about it . And these were my best years, I trusted him completely and ALWAYS been truthful to him. I thought he was my family. I feel so stupid of always being faithful to him now. the marriage feels like such a big lie right now. I havent confronted him yet. Everytime we talked he just kept lying to my face. There is no way he would ever admit the truth. I am sitting here crying and I just dont know how to start picking up my life and go on with it by myself. I was always his wife. I feel like nothing without him. And it also makes me mad to think that but it is the truth how I feel. My problem is I feel a little lost. I dont know any of my rights in this situation. maybe someone can recommend something . thanks for reading.
Since he has hurt me so badly I want to know if I can revenge myself in any way say I know the place offbase he goes to. Can I get it to close down or tell them he has an STD which he has given to me. Or get him into trouble over this.
Or get him into trouble over this. I just feel like he has done me so wrong and I know in the end he will smile at me and not even feel bad about it .
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Posted By Nekoluvr on 02-20-2012 8:18 AM
Don't beat yourself up for staying. Many women (and I'm sure men too) stay in mentally abusive relationships, not realizing it until later how brutal it can be. The person may think that "He will change, it will get better" and before you know it, you've been miserable for years. No one deserves to live like that! Unfortunately, you are not the first and sadly will not be the last.