Relationships Rejuvenated With Marriage Enrichment Workshop
Story and photo by Dan Bowen, CFAY Public Affairs

CFAY Chaplain Barry Metzger leads a marriage enrichment workshop at the Chapel of Hope Nov. 18. The workshop is designed to offer couples a chance to improve their communication skills and better understand one another in order to build a long, healthy marriage.

The Chapel of Hope conducted a marriage enrichment workshop teaching couples how to better understand and communicate with each other Nov. 18.

Commander Fleet Activities Yokosuka (CFAY) Chaplain Barry Metzger facilitated the workshop which was based on Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Love Languages” and Gary Smalley’s personality profiles.

“All of this is to help us understand our mate,” said Metzger. “From the five love languages, the personality profiles and gender differences, so that we can relate to each other effectively and learn what will work and what will not work.”

Stephen and Ashley Comstock spent their six-month wedding anniversary at the workshop and felt they learned a lot that would also help other people in the community. For Ashley, the workshop was a way for her to take a proactive approach in building a rewarding and lifelong relationship with her husband. She understands that although most couples are committed to creating a loving and lasting relationship with their spouse, sometimes people need a few ideas to help them along the way.

“We just want to make sure we’re happy and we stay that way. Any help that is available is worth taking,” she said. “I was really interested in learning the different love languages; you really don’t realize how your spouse needs to be shown that you love them. Your way may not be the way for them and sometimes it’s hard to understand until you see in black and white that there are different ways to love someone.”

“I think it would be beneficial, especially to newlyweds,” said Stephen. “We came here as newlyweds and being overseas in a stressful situation away from your family for the first time ever and, on top of that, the stress of just being newlyweds - this [workshop] just helps you out.”

The stresses of marriages back home are easily compounded when put into the situation many spouses on board CFAY are faced with. Forward-deployed marriages are forced to cope with separations and other stresses they wouldn’t normally face.

“There is not really a set schedule here. We have to be pliable and adapt to a lot of different schedules with our service members on the ship. Spouses have to adjust,” Metzger said. “We just thought it would be good to offer them a chance to be reminded to be refreshed and replenished.”

According to Metzger, the workshop can make marriages stronger, happier and more satisfying. Learning new skills and tools to aid in more effective communication will help spouses gain a better understanding and insight about themselves, their spouses and their relationships.

“After a while, if you don’t put any gas in your car, it’s going to go empty,” said Metzger. “In our marriage, too, we have to fill up with some of these good and healthy tools and resources, and ways that can make our marriage stronger.”

Is this class to help trouble marriage or basically it is for you to figure out how to talk to each other. So both people suppose to take this class ? Also if a command makes a service member takes this class is their spouse suppose to come. Why would a command do this? Thank you

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