Was I wrong or she?

Yes, you made a mistake. (13)

81%

She was very rude to you and should take customer service classes. (3)

19%

Okay...Does anyone know the policy for brining Japanese minors onto base?

Today I was going to bring my Japanese students onto base for my birthday party. They travelled 30mins by train to get here. I've brought them onto base many times, no problems.  Last time I brought them, I signed up the 12 year old with a one day pass and brought on the 10 year old no prob.

Today...not the case.

A very rude "supervisor" told me that a 12 year old does not need a day pass. Okay...no problem.

Then she tells me that they cannot go onto base at all unless their parent escorts them onto base. I tell her that I've hadn't had to do that before, when has the policy changed. She says it's always been that way. I told her, but in the past that hasn't been true. She says that is our policy. I asked her if she had a written out policy to show me. This is when she brings out the supervivor card and says very rudely that I can look it up on the website.

I understand today was a parade and they had  alot of people coming in and out of that office. I understand that you just don't want people bringing in children on to base if you don't know if the parents approve.

But ...

1) I'm pushing a stroller with an infant. I'm a mommy for heaven's sake. That shows I have some responsiblity.

2) She shouldn't have rude with me.

3) If the children are with me doesn't that mean the parents approve?

4) She was very rude and shouldn't be in a customer service field.

5) If I've done it in the past with other security guys, why does she have to "enforce" her policy on my birthday and an open base event?

6) What made her have such a bad attitude she had to drop it on two kids and a mom with an infant.


I went onto CFAY's website (which drives me crazy with it's security tags!) and tried to find the policy.

It does say I need a letter from the parent saying I am allowed to have the children with me. So yeah that's my fault. (Granted I haven't had the need of one before.) If the "supervisor" was friendly, I wouldn't have been so angry.

But her attitude was plain rude!

I get that we have to keep the base secured and follow policies. I understand we have to protect our sailors.

But how does two children going to a birthday party affect base security?

How does being rude in a customer service related field get anything accomplished?

I've worked for the military before and I was sent to a customer service training class. So I know they have those classes available to their workers.

If a sailor can get kicked out of the military for being fat because they can't do their job, then sailors, in the customer service field, should be kicked out of the military for being rude.

While the rudeness is unjustified, it's inaccurate to call these folks "customer service." They are the security force. Their job is to keep the base secure & that means enforcing the rules of access. According to your research, the supervisor was correct in her interpretation about admitting Japanese minors to the base, so about 99% of your complaint vanishes. The fact of an event on base does not loosen the access requirements; to the contrary it calls for stricter enforcement. All the stuff about being a mom with a baby & a birthday are irrelevant. It's not up to the security force to assess the quality of your character, but only the rules for who can get on base or not. This ain't a circus, it's a US military base, forward deployed into a region of known hostile forces. The job of security is to keep the base safe & secure at all times. Politely, if possible.

As for your question: "But how does two children going to a birthday party affect base security?" Perhaps the issue is not the security of the base, but the safety of the children. One can easily imagine a scenario of bringing underage Japanese kids on base for less than wholesome reasons. You would like to think they have their parent's permission to be here.

While I do agree with Thai Guy on this I am frustrated for you that the 'policy' has not been followed in the past so left you in a difficult situation.

Unfortunately I have seen security personnel be rude like this as well and it is unwarranted. It should have been easy for this person to supply the said policy in writing if indeed it was a current policy. I have also seen this kind of transaction happen and then when all was said and done, the security person had been just plain wrong.

The best way to be prepared for these situations is to have the policy or instruction ahead of time and on your person(dates of policy included). Then if there is a discrepancy perhaps they can correct it by supplying the proper information. Someone more knowledgeable can step in and let us know if it is the Security Office's responsibility to have policies on hand for such cases. Seems like they should, but then again....

Anyone who works for a group of people at a window is a "customer service" person. Because they are providing a service that someone wants. Just because I am a dependent doesn't mean that the person can treat me like scum.

My dad said that maybe the person had a bad day and I was just the lucky person who got the bad end of it. Still that doesn't allow for her to treat me like that.

I will admit that a lot of my anger is toward her because of the majority of the other "customer service" workers on this base. I've worked customer service type of jobs in the military and in the private venue. If I was as rude to my customers as she was to me, I would have been fired.

I find it very sad that people who work on base don't care about treating people nicely. Don't like your job? Find something else to do. Don't like working with people? Don't do it. Ugh, I didn't like everyone who walked into my office but I tried to be courteous and help them as much as I can.

Rarely do I ever hear from dependents that they had a good service from the military offices. Well, I take that back. If it's a civliian working, maybe 50% of the time you get good service.

I guess I'll just do what I do to the NEX. Use it as minimum as possible and take my business elsewhere. I'm so grateful I live off base and don't have to deal with the base all the time.

Additionally, I do feel that I should recieve polite manners when I need things from the military services. I mean why does Navy personnel have to be so unaccomdating to dependents. I know the pay and perks isn't great in your job, but you did sign up to be in the Navy. And part of being in the Navy is taking care of your dependents. Imagine what the Navy would be like if you weren't allowed to marry and have families!

...

Oh and the forum does say "rant"...so I was just really angry and wanted to vent. Thanks for listening.

Jlynn. You are so not alone and I do feel for what you endured. It is crappy that we cannot expect not only manners, but how about "PROFESSIONALISM"! A little of that could go a long way too.

As of late I am more and more grateful that I live off base. I am respectful to others and that goes a lot further out here than on base! So often when I have to do business on base I get treated like I am imposing on people to have them do their jobs and that goes for uniformed and non-uniformed alike. That and the times I am left blindsided by pure ugliness! I don't know if it is the prevailing feeling of not being happy here or what. Luckily I am happy here and intend to not let them rain on my parade!! Thus my kids and I avoid base as much as possible and enjoy the experience of living in Japan. Unfortunately my husband doesn't have the same luxury.

Hang in there!!

ummm anytime you work in the position when youre dealing with people you have to have customer service skills. I would say she was being a justified "c" word.
The police back home practice customer service (Didnt work out too well for Mr. King though) She was wrong for how she handled the situation but right for upholding the policy. Just because someone let you do it before doesnt mean its ok. Thats not her fault, she could have explain that in a better way I'm sure...

Just because you have kids doesnt mean you are a responsible adult... I'm not and I got two of them
The whole letter thing is stupid, anyone can write a stupid letter.

It is a "rant" forum, but you put a poll up as well...which to me meant you are seeking other's opinions.  It sounds like the supervisor was rude, but (BUT) it also sounds like you became a person of 20 questions when told the rules.  So here is what I read your article as...  

The original poster should have done the homework first and not ASSUMED it was okay because of the last experience. If the web site was confusing, a phone call could have been made since they're open 24/7. Things on military bases, security postures change based on current THREATCON's, and I could go on and on. This is a base, not Disney World. The people in Security get a bad rap all the time and I'm sure in most cases they are just following the rules the best they can. Just chalk it off to experience and move on.

Good points Wilson.

Unfortunately try as we might, sometimes we don't always get things right due to misinformation or lack of it. I will say this, I am one of those boring people you call a' rule follower' - as long as I know about the rule. And I try to be very aware. But I have also faced animosity in these situations and it often leaves you unsettled - especially when security cannot direct you to accurate information, and you have tried to do everything properly.

Yes, BZ to the guard doing her job as we do want the base to be safe. It is just too bad that sometimes when doing so she come across rudely.

Thank you for all your comments. Yes I did want people's opinion.

I admit I was frustrated with her. I treated her as I would someone in a customer service field that works for me, because the customer is always right! And as a dependent that has to live on this base day to day, I am a customer of the military.

I just think she could have been like "Oh, I will look into making sure everyone enforces the policy. I'm sorry you weren't properly informed by the previous attendants. I know it can be disappointing. However, it is our policy. If you have any questions there is a contact information on the website."

I know it's alot of words to say, but I totally would have been fine and angry with myself and not her.

You know how they always say "You are an ambassador." Well, she is a reflection of the military.

How do you think my image of the military is when I experience people like her in my dealings with the military? Then I of course complain to my friends, who in turn tell their friends. And then people are like "yeah the military is rude!"

I want to love my military. I mean without them I couldn't complain and express my opinions. They do provide good "basic" care. I mean we could have no base and have everyone live offbase and not have the luxuries we do have. I appreciate what they do for us dependents. I want to be a content depedent so I don't go complaining to my sailor who will have a bad day because we aren't happy at home. (which I haven't complained to him, because he knows already how people are here and I don't need to be a broken record.)

I will say though...Yokosuka is MUCH NICER than Everett.

So...okay...we were both wrong. And I"ll try and read up on policy beforehand...But I still think they should have a written policy shown it's much easier to say "Please read this.". And I've totally used the "I'm a supervisor and that's our policy" card, because I just wanted a difficult person to leave. So yeah...

After reading all that you have posted i have found a few things wrong with what you are saying.

1. you are not a customer of the military you are a dependent and therefore you are not always right.
2. even though it was your birthday it does not mean security should pitty you and bend the rules for you.
3. when you say that someone in a customer service field in the military should be kicked out for being rude and that they picked their job the people in the pass office did not choose to be in there.
4. from what you have said it sounds like you were being the rude one to start by arguing and telling her that she was wrong because you have done it in the past.

So i really dont understand why you are complaining. she was doing her job and does not have the time deal with you trying to argue especially since it was an open base event and there were alot of people trying to get passes.

Posted By tyrone on 23 Sep 2010 05:33 PM
After reading all that you have posted i have found a few things wrong with what you are saying.

1. you are not a customer of the military you are a dependent and therefore you are not always right.
2. even though it was your birthday it does not mean security should pitty you and bend the rules for you.
3. when you say that someone in a customer service field in the military should be kicked out for being rude and that they picked their job the people in the pass office did not choose to be in there.
4. from what you have said it sounds like you were being the rude one to start by arguing and telling her that she was wrong because you have done it in the past.

So i really dont understand why you are complaining. she was doing her job and does not have the time deal with you trying to argue especially since it was an open base event and there were alot of people trying to get passes.

1. I'm a tax payer and US citizen thus the military works for me.

2. You are correct they shouldn't have to bend the rules for me.

3. They choose to serve their country. Just because they don't like their job doesn't give them the right to be a rude when confronted with a "rude" dependent.

4. I did get angry with her because of her attitude first. I still don't understand why she chose that day to enforce the policy if the policy wasn't enforced in the past. In fact the policy states that I can have a written letter saying that the children may come on the base, but she did not tell me that. Only that her parents had to escort them on. Granted, I didn't have a letter. So that was another point agaisnt me.

>

I'm am complaining because I'm tired of military members being rude to dependents just because they can get a way with it. It doesn't matter what kind of crappy day you are having, being rude to someone you work for is not right. Regardless of it being an open base event, she still should have some tactfulness.

And to add being rude to other people when giving a service isn't nice either. Yes, it's a privilege. But she was giving me something that I want. So I'm gonna ask for it. Her being irritating to me is gonna make me feel I need to demand it. Whether it's my right or not. Human nature and all that.

Part of working for and with people is having people skills. There is training on how to handle rude and difficult customers. I've had the training myself when I worked for the military. So I know it exists.

Yes, I made a mistake in being rude to her. I am sorry about that. I could have handled it alot better. The moments leading up that interaction was not postive. So she may have viewed my "arguments" as being rude and got huffy with me back.

However, as this is a rant column, I felt that I had the ability to voice my irritation and get feedback from fellow readers. Sometimes you can't see the situation clearly when you're emotional involved.

They must enforce the policy at all times. They need to inform people of the rules. A written policy displayed is the best way to show people what it is. Hiding behind a "supervisor card" is weak and, so is assuming people know the rules.

I love being in Japan and proud of my husband. I appreciate what the military does for my country. How much they sacrifice and are willing to go through.

But my collective experiences as a military dependent has not been good ones. I don't have to sit quiet and suck it up when active duty members & civilians treat me with disprespect and annoyance.

I have to respect them but they don't have to respect me? Where is the fairness in that? Yes they risk their lives (mortal), but we risk our lives (family) too. As we used to say "To recieve respect you need to be respectful."

Since I felt she should have been nice to me and calmed down the situation. It was up to her to be the big man and show respect to me first. If she said something as simple as "M'am, I understand you're upset but..." I would have been calmer. To "attack" me, say "but that's what it is" (In a way calling me a liar) and getting in my face, just upscaled the lack of judgement in the situation.

Jlynn, I generally don't try to pick fights on these forums, but I gotta respond to this "customer service" kick you're using in this and other discussions that I've seen. By no stretch of the imagination is our security force a "customer service." And by no stretch are they or any element of the US military operational forces answerable to you, no matter how great a sense of self-importance you may feel.

I'm not talking about the elements of common courtesy which we all should extend to one another. But the purpose of the security force on base has one role, and one role only: To keep the base secure. They are not there to make you feel good. To accommodate your birthday party. To educate you about base regulations. Furthermore, they have exactly one customer: The station commander. And I guarantee, if they kept a minor off base who according to regs should not be coming on base (due to lack of parental permission) then their one customer is happy. That's pretty much all they care about, and whether we feel our toes are stepped on or our egos are bruised really doesn't enter into the equation. Again, this should be done courteously if at all possible, but I know they had greater issues on their mind when you had your confrontation; your case being pretty cut-and-dry (i.e., access not authorized) they had a responsibility to keep their station clear of traffic and an eye on the bigger picture for other threat scenarios.

I'm sorry to talk so bluntly, but you keep coming back with this "You serve me" attitude. Someone needed to set the record straight. Is the customer always right? Sure, I think so, and the customer being the Commander, then he was well-served in your recent encounter at the gate. NEX & Commissary: Ok, they should be trying to make you happy, but that's an entirely different matter. Please stop trying to equate the two.

Sometime look up "The Eleven General Orders of a Sentry". These have stood the test of time and govern the actions of sentries in all military services. It may sound harsh, but "Being nice to persistent housewives hosting birthday parties" is not among the General Orders.

Ok, off my soap box until something else sets me off...

Thai Guy - You made me chuckle. I feel a little silly now. You are right "common courtsey which we all should extend to one another" is a great thing. You are right they do have a boss they have to work for.

I thought of a cool idea. They should redesign bases so that the business end (ships, working facilities, goverment facilities) should be on one base and the "pleasure" or "fun" end (housing, commissary, recreation) should be located elsewhere. That way you can have severe "authorized personel only" on that base and then you can have "let's show what good hostesses we are" on the other base

Now everyone is happy Peace!

haha, ok jlynn I'm glad you took my comments in good humor. I suppose your idea more or less corresponds to Ikego & Negishi being designed strictly for families. The main base, on the other hand, is a mixed bag with family housing and the "business end" of military being co-located. This is what got you hung up the other day.