The Road Less Traveled
By Chaplain Michael J. Tagaloa
July 23, 2010

There’s a Spanish story of a father and son who had become estranged. The son ran away, and the father set off to find him. He searched for months with no success. Finally, in a last desperate effort to find him, the father put an advertisement in the Madrid newspaper.

It read: “Dear Paco, meet me in front of the newspaper office at noon on Saturday. All is forgiven. I love you. Your father.” On Saturday, 800 “Pacos” showed up, looking for forgiveness and love from their fathers.

If you haven’t guessed it by now, the road less traveled is forgiveness. So much energy and time is given today on getting retributions, getting even and getting revenge. Forgiveness is one of those nice ideals that we just place on a shelf and let it collect dust.

The interesting thing about getting revenge is that even when the guilty parties have been punished, those who have been wronged still have no peace. The memory of the offense remains, and because you won’t let go of this memory it causes great anguish and emotional turmoil.

We have all heard the old adage ‘forgive and forget.’ Many people will agree that they might be able to forgive, but they definitely will never forget. How do you forget a wrong that has been so deep and tragic?

The truth is there are two paths we can choose. There is the path to bitterness and the path to forgiveness. In the path of bitterness, we continue to blame the source of our pain. In addition to this, we nurse our hurt and keep it fresh by remembering it and taking every opportunity to hurt the other party. This will be an area of your life that you will have no peace.

In the path of forgiveness, you choose to stop the blaming. You choose to cancel the debt, for that is what forgiveness really means. You choose not to allow the memory, or anything else, causing you to nurse the pain or seek revenge. You choose to release this area of your life and be free from hatred and bitterness.

Forgiveness is not an easy thing. It is one of life’s many difficult challenges. But the peace that you have will be immeasurable.

Clara Barton, the founder of the American Red Cross, was reminded one day of a vicious deed that someone had done to her years before. But she acted as if she had never even heard of the incident.

When her friend asked her how this could be, Barton replied, “I distinctly remember forgetting it.” Make sure you remember to forget a wrong someone has done to you.