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free at last!
It all depends on what you guys really really want. Do you both want to stay together? Is it possible to still communicate? Divorce is not always the answer, nor is murder. If you love each other and haven't been communicating,,,,spend some quality time ALONE and undistracted. Love frigging hurts, and marriage is hard. Trust me,,,,I know what I am talking about. I have been married for 29 years, and it ain't been ALL bliss. One thing we learned the hard way, and almost too late I might add, is that there has to be complete and brutal honesty. The one that is communicating, needs a good listener. The good listener, needs to allow the speaker a chance to speak. The truth does sometimes hurt, but lies hurt more. If you don't want to hear the answers to the questions, don't ask till you are ready. Still, there needs to be alone time. Start talking about the good things, before the bad. Another,,,,VERY GOOD suggestion. Have a journal that you both right in. You write a page or two, then she writes a page. This journal is to share your deapest fears, concerns, and the good feelings too. Please don't write your confessions here,,,,,you gotta talk about those face to face. Oh,,,,and,,,,,it is possible to CHEAT,,,but still love your spouse. That doesn't mean that I am saying it is ok. What I am saying is that once a cheater,,,,doesn't have to be always a cheater. What hurts the most in these situations is the LIES,,,,oh God,,,,I hate LIES. If you really don't love her, you could care less about what she did, where she was, and who she was with. You would actually be glad she was out of your hair for a while. Obviously, you do care or you wouldn't be on here begging for advice. You need to go back to the roots of your marriage. Why did you get married in the first place? THINK before you act on your emotions right now. I could write a dang book about what all we have been through. Hah,,,we almost have,,,,still have our journal. Last bit of advice,,,,go to www.beyondaffairs.com. You will be surprised how many others have gone through this ordeal. I am not saying that she FOR SURE cheated on you. I am saying that you both need to seriously sit down together and TALK.
Posted By GM1sHoney on 02-15-2012 12:14 PM
there are a lot of old topics getting revived somehow...... its not automagically the guys fault, its just a way to look at the other side of the coin. If a man is really taking care of home, women rarely disrespect their husbands like that. Esp for her to come in a say she was in good hands. Its not like she lied and got caught, she was so blaten with it...she was hurt and wanted to hurt him.
Posted By 水兵 Sailor on 02-15-2012 12:28 PM
Now holding my watch high in the air but may not be able to save it. It's starting to get very deep.