A friend of mine told me this story that happened...

So husband and wife have a few kids, and the wife decided to go out and hang out with her friends for the night.  She told her husband she would be going to Tokyo on Friday night.  She said she would be home in the morning.

So Saturday morning came around, and he started to worry.

He tried calling, but no answer.

He got nervous, and started calling around to see if anyone knew, or if the hospital's knew anything.  No answers..

So the whole day goes by, and its approaching 6pm on Saturday night, and she walks into the house.  Acts like nothings wrong. 

By that time he was really really worried about her.  He sees her walk in, and nervously asks, "where have you been, I have been trying to get in touch with you, I was nervous.........blah blah blah..

Her answer back.... "I was in good hands..."

If you know what that means, your dead on..  She was with another man....

What would be your reaction next being a loving husband who sits home with the kids all night, and day waiting for mom to come home, and you hear those words come out of her mouth?

My husband would of been a nervous wreck if I didn't come home when I said I would (granted that I would stay out until next morning????), and if I walked in and said that... Divorce papers.

And he knows I'd do the same in that situation.

WTF!?

Divorce papers.

I agree

That is just really sad. Sad for the hubby, sad for the kids. Those poor kids waiting for their mom to come home...that's a terrible thing for her to do.

Well both of us are way past the party stage...but if something like that did happen, well there would be one less person in this house.

my husband and I have this policy if you dont want me to do it to you then dont do it to me... my best bet is if i did that and i said those things that I was in good hands - my suitcases would have been by the door when i get home...

There's always two sides to a story. Maybe we don't have the complete story. What if he has cheated on her time and time again before this incident and this was just "pay back?" Nonetheless, it looks like a loveless marriage (or at least a really screwed up one) and it would take a lot of work to ever make this marriage work.

Relationships are about trust, and if you don't have that in your relationship, you shouldn't be married.

I would buy tickets for a few woman in my family to come here and handle that, then send her on her way...

I agree with there being 2 sides to every story.

Chances are, if that happened, she was thinking divorce anyway.

And there is over this way....

oh was this about you? or you can relate to this? (I'm not tryin to be funny this time) Just thought I put that out there lol.

I'm sure there are two sides to the story, but if the husband was at home worrying because his wife wasn't home on time and was unreachable and her response was she was out cheating, I say file for divorce.

Sh*t like this is why I stay single. This is one of those situations where it's more or less in-your-face. She's pretty much telling him that she wants her life back. If I were him, I'd take the kids and let her go on her way. I wouldn't be nice about it, either. I'd make her sign away all her rights to the kids and make them fully mine. That's just the Keith answer, though.

Yep, I get custody and she pays ME support. Once women start messing around with other dudes like that, their judgement always seems to go right out the window and you cant even trust them to take care of their kids or not expose you to other dangerous behaviors/situations that will get you in trouble at your job or get you sick or dead.

By the way, the ease in which she did this, its probably somebody dude knows or knows of. Most women arent stupid enough these days to go home with some random dude who could be a killer or have a disease. Plus if it was that kind of thing she would have been home first thing in the morning after the guy kicked her out of his place, random women get kicked out of the pad right after they make breakfast. There is a level of "comfyness" with the person she did it with that she just stayed together most of the next day too.

Regardless of who it is, cant trust her judgement when it comes to the kids or to my health/job so she gotta go. To me, its not really what she DID, its the lack of sound judgement that it lets come into view. So hey, if the new guy wants her so bad he can help contribute to her financial support to ME to "show his love".

Can't get divorced while in the military overseas without going through a stateside process (got that t-shirt). Early return of dependents and get counseling from NLSO; they can advise and assist but they can't act. Work out all financial and custody issues with them, document same and use as the basis for a final divorce agreement/decrea. Unless witnessed, adultery cannot be proven. Too many things we don't know here. His first mistake was to ask the usual questions. My friend's non-adulterous wife stayed out all night without letting him know first. When she got home he asked not one question. All he said was, "I hope you had fun because that's the last time THAT'S gonna happen." She's fine now.

Sure there are three sides sides to every story, but going by what's written here, she left her kids without any word. It wouldn't be AS bad if it was just the hubby...actually I can see there being more explanation on her side. And the situation would be way more simple.
But the fact that there are kids involved makes her actions unacceptable. If she wasn't happy, she should have just told him and then they could go from there--assuming they're mature enough to have that conversation without the need to 'retaliate' against the other person..

Thankfully they are in Japan...hard to get ahold of a gun (possible, but hard)

I agree with Wilson.

It all depends on what you guys really really want.  Do you both want to stay together?  Is it possible to still communicate?  Divorce is not always the answer, nor is murder.  If you love each other and haven't been communicating,,,,spend some quality time ALONE and undistracted.  Love frigging hurts, and marriage is hard.  Trust me,,,,I know what I am talking about.  I have been married for 29 years, and it ain't been ALL bliss.  One thing we learned the hard way, and almost too late I might add, is that there has to be complete and brutal honesty.  The one that is communicating, needs a good listener.  The good listener, needs to allow the speaker a chance to speak.  The truth does sometimes hurt, but lies hurt more.  If you don't want to hear the answers to the questions, don't ask till you are ready.  Still, there needs to be alone time.  Start talking about the good things, before the bad.  Another,,,,VERY GOOD suggestion.  Have a journal that you both right in.  You write a page or two, then she writes a page.  This journal is to share your deapest fears, concerns, and the good feelings too.  Please don't write your confessions here,,,,,you gotta talk about those face to face.  Oh,,,,and,,,,,it is possible to CHEAT,,,but still love your spouse.  That doesn't mean that I am saying it is ok.  What I am saying is that once a cheater,,,,doesn't have to be always a cheater.  What hurts the most in these situations is the LIES,,,,oh God,,,,I hate LIES.  If you really don't love her, you could care less about what she did, where she was, and who she was with.  You would actually be glad she was out of your hair for a while.  Obviously, you do care or you wouldn't be on here begging for advice.  You need to go back to the roots of your marriage.  Why did you get married in the first place?  THINK before you act on your emotions right now.  I could write a dang book about what all we have been through.  Hah,,,we almost have,,,,still have our journal.  Last bit of advice,,,,go to www.beyondaffairs.com.  You will be surprised how many others have gone through this ordeal.  I am not saying that she FOR SURE cheated on you.  I am saying that you both need to seriously sit down together and TALK.

Libby

Thats just wayyyyyy too much disrespect. But I would need more background info. Women usually dont act bad like this until they are given reason to. SO Im wondering what he did to set this off....

sounds like the beginning of an open relationship.

Why did this conversation get renewed on Valentine's Day after being dormant for 2 years??

JB needs a new forum category: The "Jerry Springer" category.

Seems to me like someone was having a rough Valentine's Day o_O

There is probably more to the story than the details listed 2 years ago.  I do find it funny that with the facts stated, somehow, it's automagically the guy's fault.  Just saying....

there are a lot of old topics getting revived somehow...... its not automagically the guys fault, its just a way to look at the other side of the coin. If a man is really taking care of home, women rarely disrespect their husbands like that. Esp for her to come in a say she was in good hands. Its not like she lied and got caught, she was so blaten with it...she was hurt and wanted to hurt him.

on the day of my grandfathers funeral his wife, myself and 2 other female cousins were sitting in the living room. Grandma started talking about marriage and what it means to all of us. She was telling us that marriage is work, that their were times she stood over him while she slept contemplating putting a pillow over him, times she laughed until she cried with him, times she sobbed on his chest. She said she was happy when got to be too old to have sex because it meant he would be faithful. Our mouths all droped. My grandparents were married for 40 something years and he was only faithful for the last 10. She said she understood it had nothing to do with her, that it was his shortcomming but she loved her husband, that he was a good husband, a good father, a good provider, that when she took her vows in front of God it was for better or for worse. Now being married I understand what she meant. There are times when I'm so mad I think about that pillow lol, but there are other times that I adore my husband. Marriage is not something you turn your back on when the times get rough, you work through your problems, cheating doesn't mean your spouse doesn't love you, its something with time and lots of communication that can be worked through and healed if 2 people are truly committed to making it work. I hope that man and his wife were able to learn to communicate and to love each other and grow into a stronger family.

Posted By GM1sHoney on 02-15-2012 12:14 PM
there are a lot of old topics getting revived somehow...... its not automagically the guys fault, its just a way to look at the other side of the coin. If a man is really taking care of home, women rarely disrespect their husbands like that. Esp for her to come in a say she was in good hands. Its not like she lied and got caught, she was so blaten with it...she was hurt and wanted to hurt him.

The topic does say, "...if your loved one did this to you", not "judge this story" or "who is right and who is wrong".  So it was originally intended for the audience to imagine if it happened to them.  So the readers were not supposed to judge the story, but respond with their answer based on their current situation.  The people who say -divorce- hopefully meant that that's what they would do if it happened to them.

Now holding my watch high in the air but may not be able to save it. It's starting to get very deep.

Posted By 水兵　Sailor on 02-15-2012 12:28 PM
Now holding my watch high in the air but may not be able to save it. It's starting to get very deep.

LMAO

***CLEAR, (THUMP)*** 

I think my husband cheat on me while in Thailand he rent one of those villa and when he called he was drunk and I saw girls in the house he told me he was going out and never called back today he did not call all day ....I am in so much pain ....