Why is a servicemember who divorces after being married for 10 years or more liable to give half of his retirement pay to his or her ex spouse?

I'm not sure. However, I do use that as a threat against my husband when he makes me mad. lol. (jokingly of course.)

It really isn't 50%. It depends on the length of time you have been married in actually military years. It a weird computing system. My friend was married 17 years and only got 35%. At ten years, they might get 10-20%. The benefits are computed different. To keep all privileges, they would have to be married 20 military years for the spouse to keep health, px, commissary. Anything less, only gets one year after the divorce.

Hmm, that seems like something that should be worked out on an individual basis between the people and not set seeing as though there are always different situations behind every divorce.

Isn't this all really decided by the state laws in which the divorce was granted? If you are married to a Japanese and get divorced in Japan the spouse gets nothing unless you authorized it. Of course the best people to ask (if you weren't just ranting and really wanted an answer) is NLSO or other service's legal service office. I do know that only one of the members (spouse or military member) can be serviced by one branch office. So whoever gets to the NLSO first is the only one that gets advice.

I really think this should be changed and not mandatory with Military divorces. I think a judge/panel should rule as they see fit for each divorce. And/or what the couple themselves decide together.

Because of states like Washington...It is no longer a mans world lol. It would be better to kill her than to get a divorce in that damn state lol. Do your nine to ten with a smile...

Because of States like washington, with these unfair divorce laws and rulings, many American men rufuse to marry an American woman. I have been talking to my son about these issues for the past 5 years. It is a huge financial liability for an American man to get married to an American woman.

Dude, Thats some funny s**t. LMAO!!! Seriously though I went to school with this guy in the Air Force he had 19 years in and got out so his ex wife wouldnt get any of his retirement. Now that hardcore!!!

I'm don't think the wife should get anything, because I don't remember them down there cranking or doing any thing while underway or in port!

Its not just wives, this issue goes both ways there are some blood sucking men out there who are hoping to cash in in the event their marriage ends in divorce.

Indeed but they should get something...like the debt they racked up lol.

Personally, I'm amazed that this thread hasn't diverted to the infidelity issues and high divorce rates in the military.

Oh man........I so want to let fly with it all. Since I am right in the middle of this junk and still sitting on Yoko (got to love NILSO). I am taking what ever I can get.........yea, flame away......He shouldnt have cheated.

You people are so freaking weird....I am not sure about WA state law...but it should be individually decided by case according to the law of the state....in my home state (MI) that would mean length of marriage...commitment of both members...what each spouse worked and brought to the table...and how each spouse supported the other...that is similar in many other states...if considering military retirement and benefits (I am not sure who is really interested in fighting over this), it depends on length of service and length of marriage and commitment of support....but in any case...fighting over pennies is not worth it, just let it go and enjoy being single again...: )

I am taking what ever I can get.........yea, flame away

Good luck with getting stuff from your husband. One thing I have learned in the past, is always have a nest egg that your spouse doesnt know about. That way, you always know you will be okay, if things turn south.. g/l

Adam, got it .....checked that list of a while back........plus I have all the "evidence" I need

Meh if he was slipin on his pimpin then do what it do lol. Something tells me i know you. lol Do I? I'm just saying because I've been waiting for this to happen to someone lol.

You wished you knew me honey . But seriously, I doubt you know me......I keep my playing under the radar LOL.

This thought process is the very reason so many marriages end in divorce and one reason why men prefer not to deal with american women here in Japan.

Here's one for all of you. My current girlfriend offered her ex 50/ 50 custody no child support. He got the house and she got the van. She still has the van and he lives in the basement at his folks house because he refused her offer. She still has her new place and the van is soon paid off. Lesson for all. Don't be dumb/ proud. If offered this by your soon to be ex, take it. If you think he is dumb guess what he asked her before going before the Judge. "If I lose, can I take your original offer". This info was not just from her, It was from friends. Both male and female.
But back to the main part of this, if she offers this because she does not hate you "TAKE IT".

What ever happen to leaving the relationship with what you brought to it? Why does the military member (usually the man ) get the raw end of the deal. I understand paying child support if there are any kids involved. But paying a grown ass man or woman just because they are no longer in love and too lazy to get a job burns me up. Lesson to anybody planning on getting married. Make sure your spouse works and has some kind of work ethic. Because you will end up paying for it in the event the wheels come off of the relationship.

Brad, I've now been married to my active duty spouse for 20 years. When we got married we had nothing. Over the last 20 years we've made investments, & have savings. I've worked and over the course of our marriage, we've moved a lot. Due to multiple moves, I've given up excellent jobs in order to keep our family together. ( when we decided to start a family, we decided that we should try our best to keep our family intact.) Now, if tomorrow my husband up and says, I want a divorce, I don't believe for one second, that I should walk away from 20 years with nothing. We were equal going in and we should be equal going out.

Well said Jenna. I think people tend to forget that women give up a lot to stay home and be with the kids.....they give up good jobs and furthering their education; all for the sake of their family.

Women give up a lot to stay at home with the kids; that's really funny You don't need to give up education, its called the Internet... Women are all greedy and just looking for an easy fix. When you come into a relationship think of it as a business deal. CYA and ensure you have an out.

Posted By elzey02 on 06 Feb 2010 12:31 AM
Women give up a lot to stay at home with the kids; that's really funny You don't need to give up education, its called the Internet... Women are all greedy and just looking for an easy fix. When you come into a relationship think of it as a business deal. CYA and ensure you have an out.

Bit harsh, I came into my marriage thinking it was a bussiness deal......that is the biggest lot of sh*t I have heard.

Women give up a lot to stay at home with the kids; that's really funny

Aww, that's cute. I can see how much you're going to value that wife or girlfriend.

So exactly what did Juanita Jordan do to deserve over 150 million dollars from her divorce to Michael? Or what did the 1 legged lady that hopped away with almost 50 million dollars in the Paul Mccartney divorce after being married for only 4 years do to desrve that kind of money. And those are millionaires were talking about. Now when those same adsurb settlements are imposed on Thousandaires like most of us in the military it cuts a bit deeper and leaves a much worst taste in the mouth. This is the reason more and more men decide agaisnt marriage.

<---------Proud Washingtonian.....lol

I understand the anger in having to give away 50% of your retirement to a women you may now loathe. However, there are many women who give up their careers to follow their husbands out of love, and for their careers. I for instance have a license in a medical field that isn't good outside of the state of WA. I was a professional making good money when I met my husband. My choice...yes, and I would do it all over again. However, when we chose to have children my career got put on hold, and moving out of WA changed that as well.

My husband has never had to go to a dr.'s appt for a kid, a school conference, presentation or girl scout meeting. He rarely has to sit out in the cold during sports practices or games. I"m the one who helps the kids with homework, read to them, and cleans up after them. I'm doing a job with no break and no vacation. If we were to get divorced after 10 years, I think I would fairly be entitled to some of his retirement (or at least until I got re-married).

On the Flip side of that Softball Widow, You have never had to worry about having the necessities of life taken care of ie, Food, Shelter, Clothing reliable transportation. ANd when I say you Im talking about all women in this position...While you were having a good time staying at home and able to attend all those special moments with the kids that your husband wasnt able to, because hes been out to sea for 6 months standing some dumb*** watch aboard a ship with a bunch of guys. Who was taking care of the rent ?, and the mortgage back home?, the utilities, your spur of the moment spending sprees,your car, your long distance phone bills and your Tai Boe classes that you stop going to? One quick point If I decide not to go to work well then I probably will not be getting a paycheck. No one is going to compensate me for that decision. Having kids was a decision that you knew would stunt your career before you decided to do it. So why do you feel your entitled to his retirement. I mean a man is suppose to provide for his family. When you get divorced you are no longer family and he or she shouldn't owe you anything. So what you do is important, But too many women forget the sacrafices the man has to make that allows you to do what you do comfortably. How many women would want to trade positions with there spouse? I dont see any hands!!!

I understand your argument with wives that probably never worked a day in their lives while you think their having a ball at home... but what about what's really happening in the Military nowadays? A lot of the couples go in with practically nothing when they get married, but they're both working. Every 3-6 years the wife looks for a new job because you moved across country, so of course, eventually the husband is the bread winner because it's hard to maintain that steady incline of salary when you're changing jobs. They decide to have children, the wife stays home because the husband makes more. Then the wife goes back to work again when they hit school age, but again, the husband makes more, but she's still got a good job, and this continues until they get a divorce many years down the road.

Do you think the woman should walk away with nothing then? She's obviously "worked" about as much as the man, but wasn't the bread winner. Do you really think just because the guy makes more, the wife is entitled to not much? Above is really what I see going down nowadays more and more because it's hard to survive on one paycheck back in the States (or should I say live comfortably, the "worry free" living). Especially if you haven't hit that Chief (or already an Officer) paycheck.

This is why I think they should rule cases individually, not just go with a cut and dry percentage, because the some non Military spouses have worked just as hard, and some not so much... I just see a lot of hate towards the woman staying home and taking care of children... then don't have them. Don't marry the kind of woman that won't work when the kids are older. Marry a bread winner (Some of the Chiefs in my club were married to woman that made more money, or were going to continue with a nice career even know the Chiefs were retiring and looking at a period of sitting around the house for a while). Be the stay at home dad (there is one with a new born living across from me!). Etc.

Like I said, I get ya' with the wives staying home 24/7, even when the kids are 13 and 15, but that ideal of being the stay at home wife collecting paychecks isn't playing out too much more.

Somebody please tell me how a cheating mate result in a monetary settlement in the event of divorce?

Its fair! Spouses have to put up with a lot married to a service member. I think its only fair that things be split up 50/50.

Why did this topic stop?

Because people decided that the topic is over with? Or others decided not to reply...

Can I just add that along with ex-wives getting more than they deserve...DNA tests should be performed at EVERY birth. I don't care if you're married. We not only have to pay her $1000 a month for a kid that isn't his...she still gets the convenience of using the Commissary, NEX, etc. because she uses the childs military ID card. And what happens when she loses the card with my husbands SSN on it? Oh no big deal. According to the Navy, my husband married her so he now has to take care of her. Really?! They were only married 3 years. I AGREE that the military man is treated unfairly.

The reason the spouse gets money from the military member is because of a law enacted in the 1980's. We are the only branch of the Goverment stuck with BS rule. Do politicians fall under this rule no but they felt it was important for us to follow just not important for them.
Cheating, not cheating has no bearing on whether the spouse should get anything. Hurts like hell but great learning experience. If you got kids then the spouse should get something for them, no person should be allowed to be a dead beat parent.
Oh yeah final insult spouse gets your final retirement pay so you divorce as an E-4 and YOU EARN a commision after you are divoced she is still entitled to your pay at your retirement rank not your divorce rank.

Federal law in 1982 set new guidelines which referred military pension issues to state courts but taking into account military regulations. In short, for a spouse to benefit, the marriage must have existed for at least 10 years with at least 10 years overlapping with the spouse's military service. No more than 50% of the pension may be awarded to the spouse and this regardless of the number of divorces.

I know quite a few civilian spouses who all have SEPERATE accounts and then a joint account. This is the smart thing to do. Just because your finances aren't jointed together doesn't mean you are not a couple and don't love each other. In fact, one of the major reasons for divorce is finances. Even if you are not working and staying home with the children(male or female spouse) your spouse should be willing to supplement you with some money. That doesn't mean "half" but you should have a small amount of money to tinker with!! In my opinion, more people spend money because they are NOT working. They have more free time and are usually bored. Then, there are just others who don't care and have no clue how to control their spending. In my opinion, many people arrive in Japan and realize they have no "true" responsibilities(I.E. HOUSE PAYMENT, CAR PAYMENT ETC....) and feel more comfortable spending. I say this because " I have seen many of the younger generation buying "Baby Phat" and other name brands that are offered at the exchange (not to mention the purse selection  ....which should be in a category of its own). People are buying designer names on a poor mans budget.

I agree. I have two Master's and have only worked a few years. My husband and I have been married 14 years and if he told me he wanted a divorce tomorrow....I wouldn't get angry just equal. I would want equally what I have put into the relationship to help our children grow up in a "as normal as can be environment." This is the way I see things...at least for our household. I am the mom so I am the manager. I have to make sure that our household runs on a daily basis or things begin to break down and people begin to have problems. The person who is home with the children has to make sure that dinner is made, houses are cleaned , clothes are clean, vehicles get dropped off at appointments, children get dropped off at appointments and everyone is clean. At the end of the day, the manager must make sure all children are put to bed with clean teeth , full bellies, a warm hug and a kiss. I spend countless hours a day worrying about what I am going to say to a tweenager when she gets home from school. I want to make sure our " negotiations" lead to a positive outcome within the company! I always have to keep open communication channels in order to create a successful relationship especially now that she is a tween. Then there are the other two. They are young and expect nothing but the comfortable environment of a loving family atmosphere after Johnny or Tommy or Suzie (BTW, we don't know any kids with these actual names  ) called them a name at school. So everyday is changing,I don't know whether I am entering hostile grounds on some days or enemy territory. Then when the husband comes home....it is the same thing over again. I have to slowly listen and approach every conversation with integrity and a sense of nurturing. A run down and closing to the transactions that transpired throughout the day as well as a opportunity to TALK about  what may need to be handled or fixed. Just to let him know that his company is safe and has made it through another successful day! But yet, in most cases, at the end of the day, it is the manager who is the one that is able to vent the least and still has to keep their composure throughout all the negotiations and company takeovers.