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Forums > More About Japan > Dating & Relationships
Discuss Tips/Issues Dating American Women In Japan
Last Post 01-13-2011 7:19 AM by FTC Huebner. 239 Replies.
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free at last!
free at last!

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So, your saying you will nail anything then ?
Nice lol.

Elizabeth
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Flavors: preps, goths, geeks, book worms, nerds, punks, skaters, "special" people, work-a-holics, introverts, extroverts,
non-conformists, gangster-type people, tomboys, MILFs, cougars, Single moms, GILFs....

One thing about having steak every night, every once in while I just want a nice juicy burger or asada burrito.


This just reminds me of a song, lol:
"When I pulled my hamstring I went to the Misogynist." -Brittany

KeithJ
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Actually, I was just reading about Paul Newman and I thought of that post. Newman was once asked about infidelity, and he replied "why go out for a hamburger, when you have steak at home?"
Warning: Eventually, I WILL say something that offends you. This is perfectly normal. My recommendation: get over it.

Primemas
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02-10-2010 7:39 PM
Posted By free at last! on 10 Feb 2010 02:25 PM
So, your saying you will nail anything then ?
Nice lol.


He's been targeted.
I am whats known as MANTASTIC!!!

Elizabeth
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02-10-2010 8:56 PM
Ah, weren't they trying to smear his name after his death, calling him a womanizer and alcoholic, blah blah.

I Like that quote though. It could be taken many ways regarding this thread, lol.
"When I pulled my hamstring I went to the Misogynist." -Brittany

free at last!
free at last!

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02-11-2010 10:39 AM
Posted By Primemas on 10 Feb 2010 07:39 PM
Posted By free at last! on 10 Feb 2010 02:25 PM
So, your saying you will nail anything then ?
Nice lol.


He's been targeted.


OMG...........You are seriously starting to tick me off with those comments......it is like your in frigging grade school.

Bowln31
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As an American woman I laughed while reading this forum. I have lived in Japan for nearly 7 years and dated nearly the whole time. There are so many issues to respond to that I don't even know where to start. I am not looking for shopping privileges at the BX/PX/NEX. I don't need myself or my friends sponsored onto base. I don't think all American guys look like Tom Cruise.

I mean, really, if you buy into the Asian woman stereotype why would you want to date an American woman? It's not that we American woman have an attitude it is that we have "standards". We have expectations for our men and it isn't a one way street headed your way. You want me to cook, do your laundry, keep the beer stocked, keep my mouth shut about the porn? Sure, no problem! But I'll need a few things too. If you think that's too much work or effort, then please, please, please CONTINUE to date Asian women because you are not worth my time, effort, or energy. I was raised by my father to believe that I have value and should be treated as such. So if that means you don't want to date me....I'm okay with that.....really, really okay with that, lol

Primemas
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02-20-2010 12:24 PM
Posted By free at last! on 11 Feb 2010 10:39 AM
Posted By Primemas on 10 Feb 2010 07:39 PM
Posted By free at last! on 10 Feb 2010 02:25 PM
So, your saying you will nail anything then ?
Nice lol.


He's been targeted.


OMG...........You are seriously starting to tick me off with those comments......it is like your in frigging grade school.




oh dont get your knickers in a bunch lady I'm just joshing you...lol did they say that in your time? IDK, happy hunting snoochies.
I am whats known as MANTASTIC!!!

WutUpWitDat
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Hey Bowin31 Chick - Your blog reminds me about why Navy dudes go for the Asian chicks. At least you're honest about it and explain the American lady way of thinking. Let's face it, it's a buyer's market when it comes to male sailors finding a girlfriend over here.

Bowln31
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02-23-2010 9:37 PM
The Japanese are so efficient you'd think they could come out with a catalog where you could just order your girlfriend according to your specs. It would save so much more time for you guys, lol! Guys who consider women as second class citizens will always have plenty of dating opportunities.

I find dating in an overseas military location like being in a candy store. It's like Christmas every day! You don't want to date me because I'm American?? Then keep walking, cause there are so many men and so little time, LOL

As my dad, says if you can't get lucky on a military base....you can't get lucky anywhere.

KRushPhoto
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02-24-2010 7:29 AM
Not all guys that date asian women are looking for someone to be subservient towards them. Some just prefer the look. Not saying that there AREN'T guys like that.
I'm sure we're all brought up in different households, and some of these guys had moms that did exactly that, and that's why they think it's the way things should be, just like others were brought up to not marry someone who stays at home to cook, clean and do your laundry all day. They think their sons should marry someone who's financially stable.
Being half Asian, I KNOW there are guys that dated me solely on looks (okay...MAYBE some on personality too...LOL!). None of them asked me (or expected me) to do their laundry, cook, clean, etc.

KRushPhoto
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Oh, but let me add, if there are guys that I dated that would ever try to pull that, they WOULD be out the door. I was raised similarly to you, Bowln31, when it came to that.

Bowln31
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KRush Photo - Unfortunately when you read these forums that is exactly what the majority of these guys are saying, If it was just a look it probably wouldn't be so patronizing. I don't date fat men because I don't like the look but I don't attribute a whole host of personality characteristics to them, LOL. They do a disservice to all of us because they stereotype both American and Japanese women. When really, it is more about these guys who have unrealistic expectations about relationships. Japanese girls have standards too and if the guys haven't figured out what they are, more power to the ladies!!

Softballwidow
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This subject wouldn't annoy me if it was just a matter of the men being specifically attracted to Asian females, based on looks, and mannerisms. It's basically just boiled down into a prejudice issue. You can like a specific race with out putting down ALL white women in general. Your moms were/are American. Does that mean that they were nagging, gold digging Biotches? Yup, didn't think so.

I'm white, and have dated white men. Howver, if you put me in a room with several races, I would most likely gravitate towards a hispanic male (not to mention I married one). Yes, I had some white guys screw me over. Does that mean that I stereotype all white men? Of course not.

If I typed the same things you guys have said, but left out any word that ment female, I'd probably be kicked off this site for making racist remarks.

KeithJ
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02-24-2010 9:34 AM
Your moms were/are American.


Define "American", in your own words.
Warning: Eventually, I WILL say something that offends you. This is perfectly normal. My recommendation: get over it.

Primemas
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lol yea my mom was amaerican, and my dad is paying the price everyday lol.
I am whats known as MANTASTIC!!!

Bowln31
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I'm right there with you softball widow!

beagles
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I show my support to your post, softball!

John 案道礼船
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You can't choose your parents but you can surely choose your spouse.

KeithJ
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02-28-2010 10:42 PM
Wow this thread was a hot topic. I think this one has the most posts so far. You ladies really got riled up over this one.
Warning: Eventually, I WILL say something that offends you. This is perfectly normal. My recommendation: get over it.

Primemas
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Posted By Adam Jones on 28 Jan 2010 09:31 PM
On dates I always offered to pay my half (of course, it's just polite) but for the most part was rejected (which I expected, being on a date with a man, in my world, of course he would pay). Right or wrong, it's just how I see it.
I have always paid. When I dated my wife, at the beginning, I don't think she ever paid (1 bill) for almost 2 years of us dating. I wouldnt let her.


Ha She better have paid wit dat AZZ!!!
I am whats known as MANTASTIC!!!

elzey02
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I'm going to have to co sign with you on this one primemas.

KeithJ
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05-18-2010 11:10 PM
Third. Few things are more frustrating than spending your time and effort (and MONEY) with no reciprocation... guess that's why sailors prefer "accelerated romance".
Warning: Eventually, I WILL say something that offends you. This is perfectly normal. My recommendation: get over it.

BucsGirl
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Wow...as a civilian single woman new to Japan, that might be the most depressing thread I have ever read. I do know this....I make a great salary, have never needed a sugar daddy, and have usually had no problem meeting guys back home. I guess this helps explain why I've been here 3 weeks and haven't met any single guys....they are all out in the city! Sounds like it will be a lonely 3 years for me

Primemas
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Posted By BucsGirl on 20 Aug 2010 07:19 PM
Wow...as a civilian single woman new to Japan, that might be the most depressing thread I have ever read. I do know this....I make a great salary, have never needed a sugar daddy, and have usually had no problem meeting guys back home. I guess this helps explain why I've been here 3 weeks and haven't met any single guys....they are all out in the city! Sounds like it will be a lonely 3 years for me

Check out Tokyo gig guide and go to a show in tokyo, you'll meet some guys from france, ausies etc etc...they are all over. If you're looking to meet an American man well stay out of the Honch lol you'll have beter luck on base or in yokohama, the Filipinas have the honch and ropungi on lock. G/L and happy hunting. Heh I work with a few single guys if you'd like to meet them
I am whats known as MANTASTIC!!!

Blacklabel
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I was talking with a few dudes about this the other day and we pretty much came to the idea that messing around with ANY girl on base (American, Japanese worker, Filipina) is nothing but trouble. To get from where you are (hi nice to meet you) to where you want to be (thats MY full time girl/naked partner) you gotta at some point do or say something that women can claim as sexual harassment. If they DONT like you as much as you imagined,you are busted hard. But the same thing is ok if they DO like you.

Its too much risk to guess if she likes you enough or not to know if it is safe enough to ramp your "game". SO you end up just being "friends" with all your potential partners while you try to figure out if it is safe to try something or not. Then they came up with this idea that is is sexual harassment even in off duty hours on your personal time, that was the last straw for messing with ANYone associated with the base. So most people just go off base now and and if your game falls short, its ok. You dont get penalized for trying, they know you are just being a man and seeing what you can and cant do.
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BucsGirl
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Thanks for the headsup guys. I can see where the sexual harassment issue would make anyone gun shy. I will look into more visits to tokyo and Yokohama. The first step is to find single people who even want to hang out. I keep meeting cool people, but they are usually married with kids which is somewhat limiting. I appreciate your insight and will stay out of the Honch (well for the most part..it's pretty darn convenient. Have a good one.

Bowln31
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I am also a single civilian woman and haven't any problems dating guys in Japan. Sure, they are a little harder to come by but not all men are into the asian stereotype and some aren't interested in it at all.

Elizabeth
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08-22-2010 5:25 PM
LMAO. Sexual harassment, huh? Here we go again.
"When I pulled my hamstring I went to the Misogynist." -Brittany

Blacklabel
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Yep sexual harassment. The tool that women use against dudes they dont like who are doing/saying the same thing that guys they DO like are. The behavior is the same, its just how much the person doing it is "liked" by the receiver, or how handsome/rich/high position they are.

I see all people who work together coupling up at night and even getting married. I even see military people walking down the pier from the ship holding hands. Something that could be considered sexual harassment had to have happened prior to them getting hooked up, but it was ok cause they liked the dude.

Anyway that's a dangerous slope for a guy to try to navigate when you know at any point, even off duty, even after you already slept together a hundred times, that card can still be pulled on you. Myself, Im not walking on eggshells like that. Just explaining why some dudes might be hesitant to talk to a woman on base, its not anything about you, people just dont feel like having to lose their job over some offhand comment.



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Sexual harassment is repeated efforts of a sexual nature (whatever they may be) that are unwanted. So if you ask me to have sex and I say no that is not sexual harassment. If then you continue to call, talk and email me about me having sex with you.......that is sexual harassment. Sexual harassment does not naturally occur as part of every normal dating relationship as suggested previously.

I can give a huge asscrack load of harassment that I've put with up from guys, from showing me their genitals to grabbing my boobs in a bar to someone patronizing me and saying for me not to "worry my pretty little head". I've basically told them to knock it off, although,mostly in an obscenity laden tirade.

I understand why guys are confused because there are a small minority of women who use whatever excuse they can to get a little attention or their fifteen minutes of 'fame'. The best way to avoid the situation is getting to know someone first before hopping into bed with female that walks by. Jumping into the sack with someone on the 1st, 2nd or 3rd meeting is just asking for trouble.

Primemas
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I like how you broke that down but "we" those of us with the "key" have to watch what e say. I wouldnt stay out of the Honch but i would not go there looking for someone to date, if you end up hooking up with someone there for a one nighter just think about how you'll feel when you go back out there and your trying to score big with someone ells and you see your last fling again. People are haters too so you may want to stay on the low low..
I am whats known as MANTASTIC!!!

Elizabeth
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I understand about being worried about claims of sexual harassment... but what are you doing to be worried about it? If you're looking for chicks in the Honch and maybe on the boat, of course there is going to be issues.

Blacklabel, you clarified your comment so I understand, but your first one just sounded like "Wah wah, base girls won't let me say or do what I want even if I'm not at work, I'll be accused of sexual harassment". That came off as pretty much woe is me, man. But I understand your concerns in the response. But it's also totally unfair to tag all the girls on base like that, just as it's unfair for the woman to tag base men in a certain character.

I mean, you know there are girls on base looking for a serious relationship or just some fun dating. They don't want to get into bed right away, sorry that's not how it works. Even know it was spelled out in here before that there better be some reciprocation for the wining and dinning... but like I said, that's just not how it works if you're looking for sex when the other person is looking for more.

I think every needs to take Prime's advice, female and male, and get the hell out of Yokosuka if you want something serious or away from base issues. But if you're looking for something easy but with probable repercussions, the Honch it is.
"When I pulled my hamstring I went to the Misogynist." -Brittany

AllanS
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As good a spot as any to do my part to help spread the current hot meme around :

Ceelo's FU song. Certainly related to the whole relationship thing.

NSFW

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAV0...r_embedded

Elizabeth
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08-23-2010 1:18 AM
This whole thread and that video just seems to remind me vaguely of Denis Leary...

"When I pulled my hamstring I went to the Misogynist." -Brittany

AllanS
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08-23-2010 1:21 AM
Speaking of, how about this heat?

KeithJ
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08-23-2010 5:52 AM
When I go one page up, here's what I see.

"Discuss tips/issues dating American women" - 235 posts.

"Discuss tips/issues dating Filipina women" - 41 posts.

"Discuss tips/issues dating Japanese women" - 3 posts.

Indicative of anything? I dunno. What do you guys say?
Warning: Eventually, I WILL say something that offends you. This is perfectly normal. My recommendation: get over it.

KeithJ
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12-23-2010 1:19 AM
Bueller? YES! I killed this retarded thread!
Warning: Eventually, I WILL say something that offends you. This is perfectly normal. My recommendation: get over it.

~Amy~
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01-11-2011 2:20 PM
Wow. I honestly don't know if I should laugh, cry or just beat my head against the desk until it's a bloody pulp.

FTC Huebner
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Just laugh...it's easier.
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